You Asked For It! | Christian Dating

Hello and Happy Friday!

Todays topic was requested by Tiffany at Beutiflee!

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Alright folks, we’ve got us a hot topic today! Honestly, there are so many different views and standards that it could be hard to cover this without stepping on someone’s toes. But I think on the macro level, there are a few things that would be good to bear in mind.

Let’s delve right in!

1. Christians Should Date Christians

Christians should date those who are also true believers. I’m going to start this off with some Scripture, lest you think I’m pulling this out of nowhere.

2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Now, someone might try to say that this doesn’t specifically relate to romantic relationships. To that I would ask, why not? Is it not referencing relationships in general? Can you be romantically involved with someone – dating, courting, etc. – without having fellowship or communion? I would say…no. Therefore, I hold that this verse stands as setting a good prerequisite for Christian dating.

So why wouldn’t it be a good idea?

While there may be stories of successful couples who held different beliefs, in general this “unequal yoke” can cause some strain and tension. Which church do the children attend (or do they attend church at all?) Do you celebrate holidays like Christmas or Easter? Is the Christian individual “allowed” to give money to the church?Or what about potential religious/moral topics such as drinking, swearing, or physical standards prior to marriage? These all have the potential to lead to a less than harmonious marriage.

But on the positive side, as a Christian looking to find the one you would marry, would you not desire to marry someone who believes like you do? Someone who would have similar life goals and standards?

I know there may be some who would disagree, but I am a Christian, and the one who requested this topic also asked for the Christian perspective…so don’t throw me to the wolves here! 😉

2. Win The Battle Before It Comes

When you put two people together who are interested in and attracted to each other, there is going to be some physical tension. It’s biology, and there’s no use shying away from it.

And chances are, if those same two people are isolated, without accountability, and without a plan, boundaries will be crossed eventually.

So the idea is this – decide beforehand what are your standards and boundaries, and put safeguards in place to help you stick to it.

• Have trusted mentors as accountability partners.
• Have a plan when you go out on a date. Where will you go? What time will you be done? It’s probably not wise to take a drive to nowhere-in-particular at 10pm. Or to have your date over while your family is gone.
• Don’t allow yourself to be caught in a compromising situation. (Alone in your car on a back road, for example.)
• Agree with your significant other on certain boundaries before you start dating.

Those are just some ideas, but I think you get the idea. Plan. If you’re serious about honoring the Lord, you have to be intentional about this area – because in the moment, hormones flaring, and desire mounting is not the time to try to decide these things.

And, as a side note, if you set up accountability partners, don’t get mad at them when they do their job. When your parents ask you what your plan for the night is, don’t give them attitude. When your trusted mentor or friend texts you at 10:00pm to make sure you’re back home alone, don’t accuse them of being pushy. They care enough to help you keep your standards.

3. Seek Guidance

This one was kind of touched on in the previous point, but seek out godly counsel from those you trust. If you’re having trouble establishing boundaries or you have questions about standards, let someone wise in the Lord to guide you.

And ultimately, every time, listen to the Holy Spirit. It is exactly for times like these that He is there! He knows the right and best path, and He will direct you if you are surrendered. Otherwise, He may still try, but you’ll be miserable as you fight Him every step of the way.

In the end, you have many resources available to help you succeed, but it has to be you who decides to make a plan, get counsel, and stick to the boundaries you’ve set.

I hope this has helped!

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